“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”
Thomas Mertonfire-heart     photo from www.pickywallpapers.com

Love seems so elusive for some. I find it fascinating when some of my girl friends can not seem to find that person.  I have been married for almost three years now, and though I can’t claim to be a relationship expert, I have learned a few here and there on my journey to finding love. I can’t say it was exactly love at first sight between my hubby and I, but it was definitely attraction at first sight.  When I met H, I thought he was super hot, and on top of that, extremely intelligent and well spoken. Lucky me, he thought the same of me =).

But back to finding love…I do think I am one of the lucky ones in that I found someone that was just right for me.   But how can you find that lasting love? I think the first thing is to know what you want.  There are so many ladies out there who are soo ready to find the love of their life, yet they don’t know what they want from life.  This is important because your life and your future is what you will be sharing with this person.

Family was important to me, and it was something that H and I discussed early in the relationship.  If we had different views on this topic, that would have been the end of it, good chemistry or not.  When you know what you want, you will know when to weed out the ones who are not right.  You also should not sacrifice on the wants that are important to you.  Don’t seriously date a guy who tells you he doesn’t want to get married when you do. Unless you’re in your early twenties, time is a ticking and you sure can’t get it back.

Another path to finding love is to have realistic expectations.  This does not mean you should settle for less, but instead forgive flaws that you may find anncoying or may see as “deal breakers.” After all, we all have annoying habits and flaws.  It’s pretty much impossible to meet that sexy guy with a Ferrari, much less date him.  If you meet a guy with a decent job and a sweet personality, who cares if he’s not exactly at the gym everyday?  Realistically, if you meet and date a person who meets 80% of your wants, OMG, you have hit the jackpot!

When you do find someone you are compatible with and actually like, the last things to remember is to treat them with love.  Yes, I have been guilty of being cranky and rude and testy and mean… but I do try my best to be nice.  I have my bad days but there are also many days when my patience has worn thin and I bite my tongue. It’s important to remember that this is the person you want to be with and you do want to make it work.