Living in the moment

I have struggled with the identity of my blog and now that it is my primary focus again, I realized that I needed to go back to the truest form of why I wanted to blog in the first place. I felt so disconnected from the world when I was a new stay at home mom, and I needed some kind of outlet. I blogged because I saw it as that- a way to connect… a way to reach out.. and be a my own person again. Today, I wanted to write about the importance of appreciating life. A friend reached out to let me know her son’s 26 year old kindergarten teacher just found out she has stage 4 colon cancer. I sit here in my car, waiting to go in to volunteer for my son’s kindergarten class, overcome with a number of emotions. Sadness for her, appreciation for life, guilt for my life, and many thoughts of my family. I like to be on the go all the time, that it is hard for me to slow down and appreciate the moments. I’m too busy looking ahead that to sit still and really be in the present can be hard for me. I know most people either dwell in the past, look in the future, or go back and forth, but not many are really living in the moment. I am a picture hoarder because I am so afraid I will not remember a moment of my children’s lives, that it dawned on me, that while taking so many pictures of their memories, I am not soaking in the moments. So now I try to collect moments in my head. I remember when my first born child was a few months old, we were in his room, in a rocking chair, in the middle of the night. It was dark, and dead silent, and I was rocking him back to sleep. Exhausted, I took in the moment, and I told myself, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life, just me and my baby, in the dead of the night. This is a post that is true to why I started blogging. And I hope in some ways, it touches you, and reminds you, the importance of the present and living in the moment.